Homemade Brownie-batter Cookies

IMG_3107

How Baking Saved My Life

No, a pastry did not rescue me from a burning building.  And sorry, a slice of cake did not resuscitate me.  But there was a time when baking, cookies, to be exact, pulled me out of a really dark place, that could very well have continued to spiral into something really awful.

It was this time of year, many years ago.  I was fresh out of college and fully-immersed into the world of adulthood:  all of the stresses of the real world–a job, grad school, taking care of a my own place a mountain of bills, no social life, friends no longer right across the hall to offer a smile and a distraction — was definitely taking its toll.  My relationship with my family at the time was strained.  My friends were all unavailable or moved away for a job opportunity.  My boyfriend of over two years broke up with me very suddenly.  I know it sounds very trivial, typical young gal stuff (because it is), but it was incredibly tough.

I remember the moment so well:  I was on my couch in the afternoon the day after Christmas, the apartment was so quiet.  I couldn’t even will myself to listen to music or turn on the TV.  I’ve never experienced loneliness like that before.  I closed my eyes, and for a moment, I just… I wanted the whole world to stop.  I couldn’t see a purpose in existing anymore.  (Now, don’t worry, I will never do any harm to myself, that’s not where this is going.)  All I could think over and over was what’s the point what’s the point what’s the point.  I could feel myself spiraling into something terribly dark and horrible, and it was beyond my control.  I just laid there still, with my eyes closed, succumbing to the fate of what was to come.

And then…

Then, another thought.  Just a single phrase:  bake something.  It silenced the what’s the point chant.  My eyes popped open, almost startled.  I forced myself up, grabbed one of my new cookbooks, and turned to a page that had a recipe for an intricate, messy, sticky, gooey, amazing cookie.  I seized the opportunity.  Soon, I was taste-testing the batter with a smile as memories of my childhood flooded in.  And wouldn’t you know it?  My phone rang.  A new acquaintance was having a small potluck with left-overs, and extended me the invitation.  I happily accepted, bringing my cookies.

This past week was another rough week.  Nothing like that week when I was 22, but it really took a bite out of me nevertheless.  Again, I thankfully received my bake something message during a pretty heavy sulk session.  I came up with this recipe based on what I had on hand.  And I am happy to tell you that between “taste testing” the batter and the cookies, I ate half the batch myself.  A note:  serve immediately, because they do tend to dry out after they have cooled and sat around.

Enjoy 🙂


Materials:

  • large mixing bowl
  • mixer (I used my hand mixer, and it worked great)
  • spatula
  • measuring cups and spoons
  • aluminum foil
  • cookie sheet

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 c butter, softened
  • 1/3 c baking cocoa
  • 1/2 c brown sugar
  • 1/4 c sugar
  • 1 T vanilla
  • 1 egg
  • 1 1/4 c flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 c chopped almonds (or more, to taste)

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Line cookie sheet with aluminum foil and spray.
  2. Mix butter, sugars, and cocoa.FullSizeRender
  3. Blend with a mixer until combined.
  4. Add egg and vanilla and blend.  Add flour and baking soda in small batches FullSizeRenderand mix until well blended.IMG_3100
  5. Stir in almonds.
  6. Drop teaspoon-sized spoonfuls onto baking sheet.FullSizeRender
  7. Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until just cooked through.  The edges may get crispy, and the insides will be thick and cake-like.FullSizeRender
  8.  Serve immediately.  Enjoy!IMG_3107

Homemade Brownie-batter Cookies

  • Servings: 2 dozen
  • Difficulty: easy
  • Print

IMG_3107

Materials:

  • large mixing bowl
  • mixer (I used my hand mixer, and it worked great)
  • spatula
  • measuring cups and spoons
  • aluminum foil
  • cookie sheet

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 c butter, softened
  • 1/3 c baking cocoa
  • 1/2 c brown sugar
  • 1/4 c sugar
  • 1 T vanilla
  • 1 egg
  • 1 1/4 c flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 c chopped almonds (or more, to taste)

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Line cookie sheet with aluminum foil and spray.
  2. Mix butter, sugars, and cocoa until well blended.
  3. Add egg and vanilla and blend.  Add flour and baking soda in small batches and mix until well blended.
  4. Stir in almonds.
  5. Drop teaspoon-sized spoonfuls onto baking sheet.
  6. Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until just cooked through.  The edges may get crispy, and the insides will be thick and cake-like.
  7.  Serve immediately.  Enjoy!

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One thought on “Homemade Brownie-batter Cookies

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